its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
