I met the friendliest cop last night
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
