Christians are straight up FREAKS
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
