Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
