just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize