That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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