No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
