So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
