you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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