im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
