What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
