I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
