I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
