she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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