just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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