if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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