anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
