So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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