Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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