your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
