I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize