We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
NoShamevember. You game?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
