I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
