That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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