A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
