guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
