just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
