my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
