Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
