i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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