love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
