That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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