if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
