I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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