Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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