Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
