god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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