The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
