You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
