forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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