Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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