If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize