now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize