I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
