i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
