DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
