i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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