never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
as a side note pls kill me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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