Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
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