no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i now understand why vodka
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
