ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My nipple is on Facebook.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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