I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
