We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
