i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
wrigley field is MILF paradise
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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