Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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