I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my shit smells like andre
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
