So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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