gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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