who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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