So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i was born a porn star she said
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
