I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
